Character-spotting...... Take 2 by Louis Evan Palmer
There's always a pharisaic quality to these types of articles but I'm going to humbly proceed because allowing certain actions and words and other commentaries (or lack of) to pass without remark signifies acquiescence even tacit acceptance.Children are precious to most people in most societies. Children are also among the most vulnerable of any society. Typically, they are protected and nurtured.
In this regard, statements, especially public statements, about children should never be damaging or invasive of their privacy.
Let's contrast two such statements - one by Eddie Murphy, another by Ethan Hawke.
In an interview, Eddie Murphy stated: "But, you're being presumptuous because we're not together anymore and we don't know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir."
This was in discussing his relationship with Melanie Brown, her pregnancy and her claim that he is the father.
At this point, Mr. Murphy does not know whether he is or isn't the father. In fairness to the child, one would think he would have kept silent on the matter. Instead, he is, in effect, casting aspersions on the mother by saying that she may not really know who the father is because she may be sleeping with too many men to keep track; and, worse, rejecting the child as his own. Since this has all been done in the open media, the child will presumably find out about this at some point. In the meantime, the whole world knows. Is this fair or right? Is this something that a man of honour would do?
Uma Thurman & Ethan Hawke had a son and a daughter before they divorced. They have not talked about their split and have not been critical of each other in public
"She's my children's mother," he says. "You have to keep that above anything else. If you bring two people into the world together, that supersedes anything else."
It may have been easier to lash out at each other in public but it would have hurt their children.
Sometimes it's difficult being a gentleman or a lady, sometimes it's not difficult. It definitely helps to have a guiding light, words of wisdom to follow, perhaps something like "do unto others..."
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Copyright Louis Evan Palmer
He lives in Ontario Canada. His short stories have been published in numerous publications.
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